Hindsight

I was smiling
as beautifully 
as anybody else was
till my cheeks hurt
my eyes were glistening
in the chorus.
In a room full of life
I was alone in my mind.

Little did anyone know
my rainbow was colorless.
Little did anyone notice
the pause before I said
I was doing just fine.

There was a growing distance
between me and my reflection
every night the emptiness
crept into my room.
I had no explanation
for a stone cold chest
yet a wounded heart.
I looked around
but no hand to grab
my mind was awake 
and everybody was asleep.

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