Feeling lost in life

Things seem to have slowed down, especially for the past few months. Quarantine life it is. But this is not about that. Even before it started, I was not a completely different person. I have been feeling lost. I am pretty sure there are others out there going through a similar feeling.

For anyone expecting some solutions from this blog, I am afraid I might let you down this time. Afterall, this is my first time living this life just like it is your first time too. At best, I can share what I am going through. Maybe it will strike a chord with someone out there.

It feels like it was just yesterday I was going to school not bothering about anything that might come my way. How has it been five years already? Had I known that I would be going through a fundamental change in my outlook, I would have felt uncomfortable. Honestly, in my last year in school, I did start getting a bit uncomfortable about life. I would ask myself where would everybody (including myself) be in five years? Five years seemed like a long time at that point. But looking back now, it feels like it was just yesterday.

I think after becoming an adult, I can’t remember when I was not feeling lost. It has become habitual for me to sulk in this feeling of going nowhere. It strikes me almost out of the blue, when I am perhaps going to the grocery store, travelling or simply taking a walk. When I am busy, I do not have time to think about it. But that does not mean it is the ultimate solution to get out of this loop because it eventually catches up with me. It is like holding a compass in your hands that is pointing nowhere.

Personally, I have always preferred to know why am I doing something, even if it is just buying another T-shirt. It really bothers me when I do not have the faintest clue about why am I putting efforts or resources into something. For me, it is not only a source of motivation but also a basic need. I don’t think everybody is the same and if you can’t relate to this, then your life is probably a bit more sorted than mine. I don’t know why this happens but maybe because I know that my time and availability of other resources are limited and I don’t want to waste anything on something pointless. I have this habit of learning something out of each experience, no matter how small and I think it is a wonderful habit to live by. But, that feeling of being lost in life is inescapable. I find myself questioning where is everything going, whether I am doing the right thing, whether I am doing enough, why am I doing this? Although with time I have understood that there is not much I can do about it and that I must learn to live with it (I don’t know when exactly will I stop feeling lost), yet when this feeling strikes, I sort of feel helpless, almost paralyzed.

At times, I wish so badly that some godly figure would just assure me that I am going in the right direction and that I need not worry. But that has not happened yet. When I look around, some people seem to have figured it out better and I must say I feel jealous of those people. They seem to have better clarity about life (or maybe they act like they do).

Food for thought

I think I made one thing clear right in the beginning that I do not have any solid solutions to make it out of this loop. But I do think that the past five years taught me something.

  • Talking to people makes it better. We can talk to those who are way ahead in life, who have seen this world a lot more than we have (like our parents) or we can talk to people sailing in the same boat as we are, like our friends or colleagues. Internet communities are also wonderful nowadays to connect with people we can relate to.
  • Thinking about how far you have come can be a powerful tool to navigate through this maze. Like in my case, when I reflect upon the past few years, I realize how much I have learnt and it makes me feel better to see how much I have improved personally and professionally.
  • Try avoiding comparing yourself with others. Now this is my personal belief. Whenever I am feeling lost, the worst thing I could do to is comparing myself with others. It turns out a toxic experience at such moments. It is always better to reflect upon yourself.
  • Do not take this feeling too seriously. So this might sound ironic (since I just wrote a blog post over it) but the idea is that no matter what, this feeling will strike you again and again at different points in your life. It is better not to let it get the best of you! Let it never stop you from having a good time or appreciating the little things in life.

2 thoughts on “Feeling lost in life

  1. I question everything all the time, but I’ve begun to realise that I’ll never have the answers. None of us ever do. And weirdly, being okay with that has actually answered those questions more than simply asking ever did. Thanks for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You are absolutely right. Our questions are never ending and we cannot stop living just because we do not have answers to them yet. Accepting that there will always be some uncertainty in life has helped me too.

      Like

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