They are whispering they are laughing they are mingling they are talking. They come and go chirping like birds hurting like thorns. It's always easier on the outside but a battle inside and I am never the winner when I have to laugh it hurts my cheeks and I know they don't really get my jokes or they don't bother. It's been years of nodding at folks who don't understand on my way here, I feel lost. The room is half-filled or half empty, doesn't matter. All I hear is noise as I search for your voice.