Done trying

Photo by Julia Volk on Pexels.com
I often ask myself
why is it so hard
to love myself?
All the self-love talk
does not sit right with me.
Have I ever loved myself?
I don't think so.
In fact, a part of me
always believed
I am not likeable
too sensitive for the world
too honest for the people.

But when someone
said that I am unlikeable
unusually loud and clear
straight up to my face
why did it hurt so much?
Did it reaffirm my belief?
I anyway did not love myself 
I anyway did not like myself
Then why?

Maybe because
I was trying to be likeable.
Maybe a part of me
also wanted to be liked.
And in that moment
I knew I was done trying
I was done trying to be likeable.
The only thing I have to be
is to be myself.

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